Thursday, October 28, 2004

Breaking News! A paper reports here that the next president could appoint justices to the Supreme Court! As us top-notch appellate litigators say, “Holy Fucking Shit!” I reported on story about the Supreme Court here . As you know, last week, I predicted here that day dogs and cats would begin to live together!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

You've finally done it.
Oh I warned you, appellate judges. I told you that I MUST obtain a replacement judge for D.C. Circuit Judge Harry T. Edwards or I would cancel the popular "20 Questions" feature of my blog. Well none of you appellate judges stepped forward, so I had to beg for permission to reprint someone else's questions. Looking back, I think I was in a state of denial. Underneath my quiet fury at D.C. Circuit Judge Harry T. Edwards I simply could not believe that you appellate judges would let the popular "20 Questions" feature of my blog come to an end. Now I realize that you are only hurting yourselves.

There will be no more of the popular "20 Questions" feature.

You have done this to yourselves, appellate judges. Now who will ask you what your favorite and least favorite aspects of being an appellate judge are? Who will allow you to tell the world your opinion on citation to unpublished opinions? Who will wonder what tips you have for better brief writing or oral advocacy? Who?

Nobody. That's who. If you want to know who to blame, look in a mirror, or look to D.C. Circuit Judge Harry T. Edwards.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Programming note: In case you missed my last post, the brochure for the "Appellate Advocacy Seminar" lists me as a "a leading appellate lawyer on the Internet..." on page 5!

The workshop is sponsored by the Defense Research Institute which explains how much it cares about diversity here (p. 7). Of course, by “defense” they don’t mean “criminal defense” and by “diversity” they don’t seem to include lawyers who make it their business to represent injured people. Diversity is not a civil war battle ship. Anyway, if you attend my presentation, you will learn how to defeat the menace of tort victims with style. Electronically.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Programming Note: I am scheduled to appear in Puppyland, on October 28, 2004, as on that day, dogs and cats will begin to live together.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Get your CLE Credit in Appellate Adovacy. I will be speaking to the National Lawyers Guild convention on October 21, 2004 on what constitutes “good appellate advocacy.” I urge all of you to attend this once-in-a lifetime event!

Update: Just kidding
. A little top-notch appellate humor there.

Oooh, look, a bobblehead.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Wackiest blog on the net! Sometimes, when I am alone in a hotel room, I begin to surf the web. I find a lot of interesting things besides furries. Yesterday, for instance, I found a blog devoted to – get this – “Appellate Law and Practice.” Apparently, there are people out there who read appellate caselaw, and write about it. Perverts!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Having a Bar Mitzva or Wedding? Considering hiring me to speak about “technology.” As you know, “technology” is the wave of the future.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Greedy Clerks is back up. In the past 10 minutes, they have mocked me almost two times. This explains why you should retain me for all of your appellate litigation needs when you don't have the budget to hire my old firm.

Update: They have now mocked me ALMOST THREE TIMES! To add insult to injury, they did so while discussing another blog!
Rachel's Blog is not watching me enough. Like all top-notch appellate litigators, I have been watching Rachel Hunter’s blog very closely now, as it appears that Greedy Clerks is no longer a top referrer to that blog. This may be because their server is down, or it may be because they do not “give a damn.” However, I also noticed that zoo-free-sex.perverted-dreams.com now refers more people to her blog than my blog does. How did this happen? Unless more people look at Rachel Hunter’s blog after reading my blog, I will not ask her twenty questions about how she picks law clerks or which big words she likes to use when she wins her race to be a judge or something.

An alert reader informs me that cialis-generic-viagra.biz is now the top referrer to Rachel's blog.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Greedy Clerks is down. Who will mock me now?

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Would I lie to you?
"From the outset, I have expressed a willingness to continue the '20 questions' feature for as long as appellate judges are willing to participate as interviewees. " When D.C. Circuit Judge Harry T. Edwards backed out of the October installment of the 20 questions feature I threatened to end the feature if another appellate judge did not step forward. I said, "In order for the feature to continue, I must obtain a replacement October 2004 interviewee by this Friday, October 1, 2004." I also said that "If I am unable to obtain a replacement October 2004 interviewee by this Friday, this web log's "20 questions for the appellate judge" feature will permanently come to an end after twenty quite remarkable installments in twenty months."

Well, quite frankly, it was all too ominous for me. When push came to shove, after my repeated threats, I was really too scared that the 20 questions feature might actually end, so

See here. That is to say, the 20 questions feature was never really in danger at all! However, this was a one-time-only reprieve. If I don't get an interviewee for December or maybe it's January at this point, I really really really will cancel the feature.

No really I will.

I'm not just saying that. It's true.

For real this time.

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