Wednesday, March 24, 2004

20 Questions for the Appalling Judge: "How Appalling" is pleased to present our first installment of "20 Questions for the Appalling Judge." In this installment, we ask 20 questions of former Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, Roy Moore:

Roy S. Moore is a native of Etowah County, Alabama. He graduated from Etowah High School in 1965 and obtained a Bachelor of Science Degree in 1969 from the United States Military Academy at West Point. Moore then returned to Alabama where he completed his Juris Doctorate Degree in 1977 from The University of Alabama School of Law.

1. How did you come to be an appellate judge, and more importantly, how can I, Howard Bashman, become an appellate judge?

I was elected as Chief Judge of the Alabama Supreme Court based on my status as "The Ten Commandments Judge." I don't know how you can become an appellate judge, as the title of "The Ten Commandments Judge" is already taken.

2. Are you adhering to the Federal Law Clerk Hiring Plan?

Since I am no longer a judge, and since even when I was a judge I was a state court judge, I have no idea what you're talking about.

3. Do you think the 9th Circuit should be split into two circuits, and if so, what division of the two circuits do you think is most appropriate?

Somehow, I get the feeling that 20 questions is really too many for you to come up with for each judge, so you just repeat the same questions every month, regardless of whether the particular judge you are interviewing is likely to have any particular insight into the matter.

4. Imagine for a second that you weren't on a lowly state supreme court, and instead were a federal appellate judge. What circuit do you think you would like to serve on, other than the Federal Circuit?

That has got to be the most insulting question I have ever heard. I hope you haven't asked any other judges that.

5. Now imagine that I am a federal appellate judge, what circuit do you think I would sit on? I think the Third Circuit. I can't wait to have lunch with all my appellate judge colleagues. Maybe I would invite them to a sleepover. Do you think Chief Judge Scirica would play "pin the tail on the donkey"?

What I would really like to talk about is the Ten Commandments.

6. What do you think of the proposed amendment to the Rules of Civil Procedure that would allow citation to unpublished opinions? Don't you think it's a good thing? Does Alabama allow citation to unpublished opinions, and if not, why is it so stupid?

(No response)

7. If you could be an animal, what animal would you be?

(No response)

8. Is the salary paid to federal appellate judges too low? What should the salary be? Do you think the salary will be higher by the time I get to be a federal judge?

Look, I think I have already stated that I was a state judge. Maybe you're a little too obsessed with federal judges. States have appellate courts too you know. Is this another one of your canned questions?

10. - 19. Since you are most known for the controversy surrounding your placement of the Ten Commandments, which I have exhaustively covered in my blog, I will at this point in the interview, ask a bunch of qeustions about one thing that you are known for to take up space. First, is God the Lord thy God, and shall you have any God before Him? Shalt thou make any graven images? Shalt thou take the Lord's name in vain? Shalt thou remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy? Shalt thou honor thy parents? Shalt thou kill? Shalt thou commit adultury? Shalt thou steal, bear false witness against thy neighbor, or covet thy neighbor's ass?

No on all counts except honoring your parents and keeping the sabbath holy.

20. Any good places to eat in Alabama?


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